Mom in Ministry: Oxymoron?

Okay, so, this is really ironic.  Because I wrote this blog entry about a month and a half ago about how hard it is to be a mom and be in ministry… And I am just now posting it today… Why? Because I’ve been too stinkin’ busy (being a mom and doing ministry) to even post a blog that’s already written!  I love it!  But for any woman who has ever struggled with the question or ever will, here are my meager thoughts on the matter as I continue to seek God in His Word.

Mom-in-Ministry: Oxymoron?

I’ve been struggling again with the thought that I cannot be a mom and in ministry.  As in, it is impossible to do both, and I am just making myself miserable by trying.  Is being a mom in ministry an oxymoron?  Because sometimes I feel like a moron for trying.

ox·y·mo·ron   [ok-si-mawr-on]  –noun, plural

a figure of speech by which words produce a seemingly self-contradictory effect, as in “cruel kindness” or “to make haste slowly.”

I really thought I’d have this all figured out by now – our oldest daughter is twelve, and we’ve been doing ministry the whole time – why am I not able to write a book on it?

Layers of Lies

Like all good lies, there are layers – to convolute, to muddle – to make me more focused on what I’m feeling than I’m thinking.  Imagine if a person walked right up to me and said, “You, Veronica Reeves, are not called to ministry.  In fact, you are supposed to clean, cook, and sort socks, because you are a woman.  On top of that, you are a bad mom, because you care about and minister to people other than just your kids.  And if you really want to help your husband, then get out of the way and stay home where you belong.” 

People often mistake me for being sweet because my voice sounds like I’m six.  The person saying such things to my face would find out very quickly how un-sweet I am.  And chances are, that six-year-old voice would say some things no elementary-aged child should ever hear.

The point is, that is not how our liar-enemy works.  The layers of lies convolute and muddle until we don’t know exactly what we are thinking, but we know how we’re feeling – shameful, empty, discouraged, and silly.

Quiet Time

I am convinced more and more every day that a woman is a professional lie-fighter.  Bombarded with lies about our identity, our body image, our relationships, our worth, we’re constantly asked to sort things out, figure out what the truth is, and fight to believe and live it.  We’re tough all right, but sometimes it just gets old.. That’s when I run to my Father in His Word and just for a little while, I don’t have to be a warrior princess.  Just His baby girl.

“… for whoever touches you touches the apple of His eye.”

- Zechariah 2.8

“The Lord your God is with you,

He is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

He will quiet you with His love,

He will rejoice over you with singing.”

- Zephaniah 3.17

Say what you want about “quiet time”:  archaic, legalistic, irrelevant… but you have not yet seen a fight until you try to take away my daily time alone with my Father in His Word.  Where He quiets all the lies, all the strivings, all the complaints, all the confusion, all the whining, all the questions, all the everything in me… with His love… and rejoices over me with singing.

Sarah Young describes it like this:

Demonstrate your trust in Me by sitting quietly in My Presence.  Put aside all that is waiting to be done, and refuse to worry about anything.  This sacred time together strengthens you and prepares you to face whatever the day will bring.  By waiting with Me before you begin the day’s activities, you proclaim the reality of My living Presence.  This act of faith – waiting before working – is noted in the spirit world, where your demonstration of trust weakens principalities and powers of darkness.

The most effective way to resist evil is to draw near Me.  When you need to take action, I will guide you clearly through My Spirit and My Word.  The world is so complex and overstimulating that you can easily lose your sense of direction.  Doing countless unnecessary activities will dissipate your energy.  When you spend time with Me, I restore your sense of direction.  As you look to Me for guidance, I enable you to do less but accomplish more.

The Truth

My husband and our girls are my priority ministry.  They are my lifelong calling, I’ll abandon them for nothing, and no one comes before them.  But they are not my only ministry.  For their sake today, (and for the sake of my daughters’ future identities as women), I will continue to pursue His leading in using the gifts, abilities, and passions He’s given me to serve young women, His church, and the world.

We are currently in a season where I know I must scale back and focus on priority relationships and ministry.  In other words, I am saying “no” to many opportunities I would absolutely love doing.  It’s a season of building - not a house, like we’d originally thought, but a church.  And I am learning to be like Nehemiah, who when answering the call of God to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem, resisted distractions with the statement, “I am doing a great work, and cannot come down.”

The answer to the question, in case anyone else in the world is asking, is NO.  Mom-in-ministry is not an oxymoron.  And if you’re believing the lie that it is, then you, sweet friend, are being a moron.  But this I know for sure:  when asked how I do it all, the only answer is, “My Father working in me and through me.”  (Plus, my house is rarely clean, we eat Chic-Fil-A a lot, and I’m saving scrapbooking for when I’m a grandmother.) 

Know that you are doing the impossible.  Paul called it, “Christ in me, the hope of glory.”  And He never asks for perfection; just obedience.