Under the Cushions

I have a new theory.  Everything you need to know about a family you can learn by looking under their couch cushions. 

Today’s list: 

- 7 bobbypins

-10 kernels of popcorn

- 5 fruit snacks

- 1 Barbie purse

- 1 hair clip

- 12 pencils & pens

- 4 markers

- 6 crayons

- 3 hair rollers (the spongy kind)

- 1 Barbie video camera (I believe it came from Cooking Show Barbie)

- 3 ponytail holders (there would have been more but we all know to look there when we need one)

- 1 nickel

I hear some families find a jackpot there.  Not us.  I’m sure some families find army men & legos.  Not us.

A few weeks ago I was visiting another family’s home, and, upon time to leave, realized I didn’t have my phone.  We all started looking around on the tables, counters, etc… and then someone lifts a couch cushion where I was sitting to see if it was there.  A part of me instinctively cringed out of sympathetic insecurity for the mom of the house.  But her under-the-cushions was absolutely spotless.  Perfectly clean.  No crumbs.  No food.  Nothing embarrassing.  Nothing but sweet cleanness.  And somewhere deep inside my subconscious I wrote on my never-ending, good-mom to-do list, “Clean under the couch cushions.” 

I’d like to say something like, if you look under a family’s couch cushions and they’re spotless, then it means the mom has OCD and the kids never have fun and they’re not even a real family.  (OR, that something very recently was spilled all over it – which explains the new cleanness of ours this morning.) But this family with the clean under-the-cushions is 100% real, 100% fun… And the mom?  She’s amazing.  In all the wonderful ways, not any of the annoying ways.  She’s my friend. 

I think that big coffee spill was a grace gift from the Lord this morning, because as I was sorting the trash from the treasure, I realized how much I love our family.  When Dan and I were engaged, we dreamed about having one of each gender and then adopting from another country.  Three girls and a house full of hormones later, we’re still praying about the adoption part.  With the second and third pregnancy everyone assumed we were hoping for a boy.  We weren’t.  We would have been happy and grateful with either, but we absolutely love raising girls.  As I sorted the bobbypins to stow in the bathroom drawer from the popcorn to throw in the trash, I thought about how much I love our ballet recitals and our movie nights.  I love it that Callie’s addicted to fruit snacks and Carson can already fix hair better than I can.  I love it that the highest count was writing utensils… Something I’ve been passionate about all my life I now share with a household.   And I even love it that I only made five cents… I’m progressively more and more okay with a really small bank account and a really big life.

As we plan for family ministry at the Journey Campus, the motto I’m voting for is, “You don’t have to be super family; you just have to be your family.”  Because the truth is, none of us are perfect.  But no matter what lurks under your couch cushions, God is writing a story with your family.  A story of grace.  A story of redemption.  A story of unconditional love.  These words from Reggie Joiner inspire me:

God is at work telling a story of restoration and redemption through your family.  No matter what your family looks like or how limited your capacity might be, you can cooperate with whatever God wants to do in your heart so your children will have a front-row seat to the grace and goodness of God.

That bigger story involves more than just your family.  It involves other voices investing in your children to help shape and determine the direction of their lives.  It involves a wider community of faith who are on a journey together to discover why a relationship with God really matters.  Even though I cringed at the thought of lifting my friend’s couch cushion, it involves being real with one another.  I think families aren’t so hesitant to be real.  I think they’re desperately desiring to be real.  And God is desperately desiring a community who will be courageously real enough to demonstrate His love to a broken world.  Are you in?