insecurity. (Luke 7)

Isn't it wonderful when you think you've studied something before, even taught others about it, and then the Lord gives you a fresh Word about it that's just brand new, and meets you right where you are, today?  I thought I could write a book about how to battle insecurity.  And though I have learned lifelong lessons, His mercies are new every morning.  

I know that there were valid reasons why John the Baptist and his disciples questioned if Jesus was the Messiah in Luke 7.  I've tried to put myself in John's sandals and see things from his perspective - about to be beheaded, Christian life looking quite different than he always thought it would look.  (The Christian life at this point meaning purely the life of Jesus.)  But I've never read these verses and thought about the happenings of this chapter in history from the perspective of Jesus.  Until today.

In the first paragraph of chapter seven, Jesus receives his greatest affirmation from a human being yet.  A centurion in the town of Capernaum "gets" it.  He sees that Jesus isn't just a traveling, healing, street-show, but has authority over everything in heaven and on earth - including authority over sickness and death!  Luke says Jesus marveled at him.  Can you imagine?  Being marveled at by Jesus?  I can't.  But can you imagine being Jesus, and having someone understand the magnitude of of who You are - the big picture - holy affirmation... not from a private Word from the Father in an early morning quiet time, not from a dove sent straight from heaven filled with the Holy Spirit's anointing... but from a person.  Another flesh-bearing, heart-beating, mind-thinking person.  That had to feel phenomenal.  "When Jesus heard these things, He marveled at him, and turning to the crowd that followed Him, said, 'I tell you, not even in Israel have I found such faith.'"

From there, no doubt on an emotional high, Jesus travels on toward the next town, his band of disciples and an ever-growing multitude of the curious following.  And there in front of the gates of town, Jesus does something He wasn't supposed to do.  People are everywhere.  The crowd behind Him is still processing amongst themselves what just happened in Capernaum - "Did He seriously just heal a guy without even touching him? Seriously? Without even entering into the house?"  The crowd in front of Him is still processing amongst themselves the horrific tragedy of the loss of a young life.  "I just cannot believe it.  What is she going to do?  He was her only hope, and now he's gone."  People were everywhere.  The two crowds met - both processing what they could not wrap their minds around - wonder over the peculiar merged with sorrow over the tragic.  And Jesus sees through the crowds to the heart of a hurting woman - hurting as I believe only a woman can hurt.  Was it in pure compassion for her that He raised her son from the dead that day in the presence of so many witnesses, endangering Himself, His followers, and, most importantly, the fruition of His mission on earth?  Yes, probably so.

Yet I also can't help but wonder if a fresh sense of freedom contributed to His decision - freedom to be who He truly is - freedom to do what He truly came to do.  I AM HERE TO AWAKEN THE DEAD!  He seemed to be announcing, with no caution.  THIS IS WHY I'M HERE!  In the last town, someone "got" it.  In this town, someone needs it.  Though it put my mission in danger, though it put my life (and all of yours who choose to continue following me around) more quickly on the cross... It seems to me that He is freshly compelled to be who He was meant to be and do what He was meant to do.  Maybe because I know that when I'm affirmed by a sister or brother, I'm freshly compelled to be who I am meant to be and do what I am meant to do, with reckless abandon.  

Affirmation.  Fresh compulsion.  Powerful work of the Spirit.  Next stop: the people respond.  That's the part where I most often fail.

Some were afraid.  Some called Him a great prophet.  (I wonder if He wanted to say, "Um, sort of...")  Some articulated with ironic accuracy, "God has visited His people!"

One thing's for sure: people were talking.  Then Jesus receives word from friends of John - His relative, His predecessor, the solitary one who understood from the time they were both in their mothers' wombs who He was to be and what He was come to do.  John's friends come with word from him asking, "So, are You the one?  Or shall we look for someone else?"

How must that have felt?  I really don't know.  I know exactly how it would've made me feel, with my eg0-bound oversensitivity and craving to please people.  Since Jesus was fully man and totally sinless, did He get His feelings hurt?  Did He entertain the thought that what John said might be true?  Did He feel the "yuck" in His spiritual, emotional, and even physical gut that I call insecurity?  I don't know the answers to any of those questions yet.  But I do know this:  He didn't sit around and feel.  "IN THAT HOUR He healed many people of diseases and plagues and evil spirits, on whom many who were blind He bestowed sight" (v. 21).  He kept on doing what He was called to do, not stopping to succumb to feelings of insecurity.  "And He answered them, 'Go and tell John what you have seen and heard: the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, the poor have good news preached to them.  And blessed is the one who is not offended by me"  (v. 22-23).

Neither did He slander John.  Rather, He uplifted him to all the people listening, saying, "Among those born of women none is greater than John."  Had He fallen to the temptation of insecurity, He could've taken the opportunity to destroy John's name and reputation for the rest of history!  And to this day, we would remember him radically different than the way we d? What a crucial reminder to face attacks of insecurity not only with strength and perseverance, but also with integrity.  

Which leads us to today, and the difference between sinless Jesus and sinful me.  When we're faced with the temptation to stop and succumb to feelings of insecurity, we keep on doing what God has called us to do, with reckless abandon, yes, and also with utmost integrity.  And so today instead of wallowing and "feeling," I choose to love my kids with grace and truth, to help Dan with contagious joy, and to serve the body of Christ with what gifts He's given me.  To guard my tongue against slander, and uplift others, even readily affirming their identity and calling in Christ when given opportunity.  How am I gonna do it?  The same way I started reading this chapter this morning... elevating the perspective of the One and Only character that matters in the story of my life... compelled by affirmation from sisters and brothers when the Holy Spirit ordains it, yes... but living for my audience of One.