I met this week with a friend whose husband is feeling called to ministry, who is struggling with seeing herself as a pastor’s wife. And indeed, she doesn’t fit the mold! Say “pastor’s wife” to anyone, and a clear image comes to mind. I envision starched clothes that cover neck to ankles, hair sprayed perfectly in place into a modest hive, five kids lined up like ducks in a row behind her (those kids never-no-never talk in church by the way, much less demand a drink of water during invitation or slug their sister during point number three)… You get the idea.
In my mind, she carries a big teal Bible (I have no idea where that came from, but it’s true), she always speaks softly, and she loves nothing more than keeping her fishbowl of a house sparkly clean and keeping her family of seven’s socks sorted, laundered, organized alphabetically, and put away. Who is this lady???
I could list today one hundred girls I knew in college who would’ve made a better pastor’s wife than me – who are not. No joke. I vividly remember a classmate sharing with me one day that she felt called to be a pastor’s wife. To which I replied, “Girl, not me. I’m glad it’s you.” I didn’t even know God did that. I felt called to ministry my freshman year, but I thought all that meant was to use my gifts to serve Him by serving others, instead of just for myself. In other words, I thought I’d marry a missionary and teach English and Bible overseas, instead of go to grad school and become a lawyer or professor.
Like my friend, I have a past. Although I grew up with unconditional love and everything provided that I could have ever wanted, church was not in our weekly routine. We went on Easter, and I hated it. I fell into a mess of sin in high school… although I had received Christ as my Savior, it never dawned on me that He wanted more than just my eternal residence. So when in college my eyes opened a little to see all He had been doing in my life, protecting me, leading me, saving me not just once but every day… I wanted more of Him. And when they opened a little to see the pain and poverty of the people in this world who did not grow up like I did, I wanted more of life… I wanted my whole life to be used by Him. No big epiphany. No holy visitation, other than what is available to every one of us every day.
Joyfully shocked. That’s how Zaccheus felt when Jesus walked past the one hundred more deserving and called on him (Lk. 19:1-10). It says he hurried and came down from his tree and received Jesus joyfully. This is no story to be swept under the rug; this is no tale of an exception to the rule. Read any commentary and they’ll tell you, verse 10 is the theme verse for the whole book, it is precisely what Luke was trying to get across by writing this “orderly account” (1:1). “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”
Joyfully shocked. I think that pretty much describes how my friend feels right now, too. And I think there couldn’t be a healthier response to the call of God on a life. When the people saw it, they grumbled. And they will. But I want to resolve every day of my life to not be a part of the crowd that obstructed Zaccheus’ view of Jesus, but to be joyfully shocked right along side of him… to be a pastor’s wife who does not ever fit the mold, but is a breath of fresh grace to any woman who desires to see Him, and to welcome Him into her life.
So friend, I am joyfully shocked right along with you today. And am here to encourage you as do what He tells you to do, be who He’s made you to be, and obey. Someday I hope to get to the point where I’m not so shocked, just joyful… He always chooses the most unlikely, because He always calls for the sake of grace.
I'm a follower now...of your blog :-). Your description of a pastor's wife is the same one as mine growing up. Why is that? But, when I picture a pastor's wife now, I think of you, and it is only good things. You have given a new face to that job and thank goodness you have!
ReplyDeleteVeronica, these are great. They speak his Word and Truth to me so much. Thanks for sharing what God is speaking to you. I have a vision of these blog posts being compiled into a great book for young wives in ministry sometime, so keep them coming! I would have loved to have such a thing, I know you would have too! Lord, knows I struggled with not looking or acting like what a Pastor's wife should look like. Being a Varsity Volleyball Coach that was a loved and hated public member of the community was not quite in the profile. Much less carting my babies to every gym in Arkansas from oh, about day 7 after their birth. We would show up at a ballgame, drop Sydney or Raegan off on one end of the gym and they would make it through the crowd and be perfectly entertained and sleepy by time the games were over. But, Oh the rules to be broken, aren't you supposed to keep em quarantined for like 6 weeks after birth, according to the proper way to raise Christian, much less pastor's children. If there's a rule to be broken, we have done it and all to the glory of Christ as our goal has always been to be a ministry wherever we are family in tow or not. Because as a pastor's wife, my main goal is to show God's love wherever I am, not just on Sundays. As a matter of fact, Sunday is my hardest day to show God's love (as I am often fighting against a self pity party of single mother, want to have my husband by my side like everyone else at church). another lesson maybe you could write about someday, which comes rather shocking to new young pastor's wives. That your Sunday will never look the same.
ReplyDeleteWishing you much love and blessings, can't wait to visit you guys in December!